Birthday Tears

I'm fully aware that grief doesn't have a time limit. Generally I'm well on days like this, but something about this season makes the weight of my dad being gone seem heavier this time.

Daddy....today is your heavenly birthday and  honestly  I don't  think I've cried this much from you being gone in a while.  The tears fall heavy today; however,  my emotions and thoughts have been putting in work for quite some time. 

I recall myself feeling bothered again that there was no formal goodbye.  The daddy issues from the past tried to regain access to my wholeness. And while it would be easy to just lay in the sadness and sorrow of your transition to heaven I choose in this very moment to accept what was and what is.  

Unforgiveness does NOT have access to my wholeness.  Sorrow and grief CANNOT fester in my wholeness. Today I choose to walk in my healing. 

I challenge myself with gratitude. You are in heaven...no pain. I'm selfless enough to accept you went for your healing.  It must be something to be without a spot or wrinkle. Your purpose was fulfilled and I imagine there's no place like home.

Take Away- In life, we can't love people so much that it impedes on God's will for their life. It brings another meaning to not my will, but Lord your will be done. My prayer is, Lord teach me how to love people into your will. 

What have you found yourself grateful for even in the midst of loss?

#rest in purpose 🖤🖤🖤

 

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